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I am not the person I was five years ago. I hope I will not be this person five years from now. For that I am continually thankful!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Toast to The Grown Ass Man

Yesterday was your 30th birthday. I remembered, as usual, which made me mad at me. Why can't I just forget about you? You, who were never honest. Who never cared about who I was. Who snuck inside my heart, stretched your limbs and split the still-fresh stitches. You knew what you were doing...and had no problems moving on...

Well...honestly, I really don't hope you had a happy birthday, even though I know you did. With your wife and new family bending over backward to make everything great for you. It's things like this, and people like you, that make me wonder if God was really paying attention when the gifts were assigned, and you ended up with the convenient little package with beautiful bows and lace. It's also because of you that I understand why Karma, as a priniple, is so messed up (for lack of better words).

Karma was supposed to be the ultimate deterent for wrongdoing. A gas chamber for the soul. Just the thought of something done to another returning at a later time was supposed to make every interaction fair, honest, and good because everyone is supposed to want that in return. But nothing ever works they way it was designed. All it took was for one person to have no fear of punishment before the entire principle developed one big gaping hole...of ...well...unfairness.

The flaw in the design of Karma or Reaping and Sowing or The Golden Rule or whatever people like to call the exact same principle is there is no provision for how the action will return. Is it direct or indirect? Quick or delayed? An act comparable to what one has done or the exact same thing? Or is the return simply in believing that there should be one. And which acts yield a positive return on investment? What is being "good" to another anyway? One person's "nevermind" is another person's disrespect.

Well...whatever the answer...after the first brave soul decided that he or she didn't give a damn about the future and decided to live "in the now," Karma was unleashed in a huge, uncontrollable wave...targeted at one person but affecting every person. The first douchebag's Karma may have been direct, but not as bad as expected, so he or she could have kept right on going...and the second set affected his or her seed. And of course the children had no idea they were paying for a parent's mistake. Some could have grown angry and passed along the bitternes...and so on..and so forth.

Bottomline...bad stuff happens whether we "deserve it" or not. And perhaps that is the allure of evil or sin or wrongdoing... bad stuff was supposed to and will happen anyway, so...why bother being fair? And that's where you came into my life...the thunderstorm that rained on me, perhaps because of something my father did to some woman. Or the curse that one of my late grandfather's baby's mamas unleashed when he left her high and dry. You were the proof that the very thing you don't need is dressed up like the very thing you want. You made me a Karma-carrier.

So...now that you're a grown ass man, I hope you're prepared to watch all you have unleashed returned through your own personal Karma-carrier...consider it a gift from me...

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