The Tweet Life of Ghostwriteme

So...against my better judgement, and at the prompting of an avid "tweeter," I opened a Twitter account. After the account-setup rigmarole, I looked at my "timeline" and tried to figure out  how it all worked. It was explained to me that I needed "followers" and to "follow" others if I wanted to make the most of my Twitter experience. Now, of course those are my words, but that was the gist of the tutorial, and there was emphasis placed on the process of following and being followed. The goal was to be interesting enough to stalk and be stalked. I have a sarcastic tone (most times), so I really like to dialogue with people to see if I'm not the only weirdo on the planet who allows sarcasm to steer her social ships. On to the Twitter frontier!

My 1st tweet: "You probably think this tweet is about you...don't you?" I thought it was a pretty good start...but I received no response. I figured if I keep the natural me rolling, I should have no problems being a virtual social butterfly. People will follow me. I will follow others. Smashing fun!

My 15th tweet: "Why would Usher make a song called 'Daddy's Home' when most Black women have 'Daddy issues'? Trust me...u don't want me 2 call u that dude!" I thought this was ingenious, but once again, cyber-silence.  Capricorns are stubborn goats, however, so I wasn't giving up.

My 20th tweet, which was in response to a "trending topic": "#idontappreciate People soaking up my sunshine!" I thought that would surely get some conversation going...or at the very least a stereotypical "sister-girl" snap in the air. Nothing. Then I got frustrated and started searching for people with interesting thoughts. Maybe they would want to follow me...or I would want to follow them.

And then I had a religious experience; I found someone with the Twitter name "Jesus," and this person was hilarious. His version of tweeting was to offer the side of "Jesus" that most people refuse to believe really ever existed - the human side. Though most people would have found this sacrilegious, I found it an interesting commentary or the classic question, "What Would Jesus Do?" or more specifically, "What Would Jesus Do with a Twitter Account?" The answer - "be followed." He or she has over 100,000 followers, yet followed no one. Okay. Now I get it.

A lot of people just want someone to pay attention to the (often mundane) details of their existence. It's understandable. It's human nature to want each individual experience to be interesting and unique, but relevant. But what does it take for me, an aspiring writer, to help draw attention to my words? Who will talk or listen to me if I just want to be funny, profound, or start intellectual dialogue? Sure, someone like "Jesus" can get people to follow him/her and enjoy and anticipate the next utterances that leave his/her lips, but I'm no Jesus. Hell, I'm not even Twitter Jesus.

So...I've realized that the Tweet life ain't so sweet for someone like me. I'd love someone to take enough interest in my thoughts to follow my links and dive deeply into the things in my head. But maybe I can't peak any one's interest because the observations I make about life are far more important to me than all my twitter fame coming from telling cyberspace about my day without purpose or prompting. Not judging anyone. Just trying to get some understanding for people like me...and I'm going to keep trying.

My 114th tweet: "Most teenagers I've encountered in class would rather take a stab at making it through the Middle Passage than to read a text of merit."

*crickets chirping - tumbleweed rolling - awkward looks all around*