God sat atop a cliff, surveying creation, watching Adam perform his daily routine below, and playing with Adam’s rib. The decision to take it during the previous night was a quick one, and because God never makes mistakes, improvements are also part of the plan. God found Adam a bore, and something needed to be done about it. He obeyed, and that pleased God. Adam relied on God for everything, and God loved that as well. And when they walked Eden’s grounds together, naming creation and spending quality time, the world was at its best because God loved Adam like all creators love their first creations. Adam was the prototype of God’s true ingenuity. Man had the capability of higher order thinking, procreation, invention, problem-solving, love, compassion, charity, and intellectual wonder, among many other things. Therefore, God loved him simply for the possibilities Adam had within, but GOD BEING GOD didn’t expect Adam to actualize any of these possibilities. Expectations aren’t for those who know; they’re for those who hope and believe in the potential they see in others. Those who have the patience to deal with the time necessary for growth. God is growth and knowing, so nothing was expected from Adam. It was clear...Adam had reached his limit.
That’s where the rib came in. Adam had been given everything rendering him a complacent creature, the biggest threat to God’s glory. And God couldn’t allow that. Complacent creatures don’t reach for anything; they strive only to keep their comfort, and God has no majesty in mediocrity, so being omniscient God took from Adam what he’d surely miss…eventually.
God rubbed the curve of Adam’s rib, admiring the smoothness and strength. This bone was both delicate and robust, a true testament to intelligent design. "Protect the heart. Stand at his side. Be attractive and attracted to him. Hmm…be both fragile and strong.”
After thinking it over, God found a quiet place in Eden to work. There the rib was fashioned into a mate for Adam. And she was fine. God knew Adam wasn’t going to listen to just anyone; he was a visual creature.
“Hey, Woman.”
“Hey, God.”
“So you know who I am.”
“Of course I do, God. I was inside Adam. I paid attention.”
God smiled. “Of course you did. You got any questions?”
Woman looked down at her body, and after careful examination, she cupped her breasts and asked, “What are these?”
God laughed. “They’re breasts. You’ll find out their many purposes in due time.”
“Well, what do you use yours for?” she asked, pointing to God’s chest beneath the white cloth draped over what appeared to be breasts.
“It’s complicated. I don’t really have breasts, or a body for that matter. I appear in the manner that best appeals to the person looking. So to you I look like you, so you can see how truly beautiful you are, and to Adam…well…I look like you…because he’s been waiting for you.” Woman looked confused. “I know you don’t understand, and I know you want to, but in order for that to happen, I’m really going to need a lot from you.”
“Sure, God. Anything for you,” Woman said, still closely examining her new body.
“Stop looking at yourself,” God said with a smile.
“But this body is so interesting, God. I mean…WOW! Will Adam like this?”
“Oh, yeah,” God said. “He’s been walking around creation looking at animals and trees and birds and he’s been pretty happy doing what I tell him to do, but he has no home of his own. No one to walk the earth with him. He didn’t say it, but I know he will appreciate you.”
“So he didn’t ask for me?”
“Woman…he didn’t ask for anything. He doesn’t know to ask for anything. Why do you think I had to put him to sleep to remove you? He would never have given you up willingly. He would have only seen the loss of a body part. I need you to open his eyes.”
“Okay, God. Where do you want me to go?”
“Well, I will present you to Adam. He will accept you as his mate, but he won’t understand the concept of partnership until you make him disobey me.”
“What?”
“Trust me, Woman. The world…you…man…everything will be better when he disobeys me. This will force him to look at what he’s been given, look at what he’s lost, and push this whole life I’ve given him to a new level of achievement.”
“I don’t understand, God.”
“But you will.”
“But if I separate you from Adam, he’ll blame me for everything else that comes afterwards.”
“True.”
“But he’ll be upset with me.”
“Also true, but only temporarily.”
“God, I don’t want to do this…”
“I know you don’t, but I don’t see any other way of pushing life forward. You are strong enough to handle every reward and consequence for this. And I promise you…you will understand it all…just not right now.”
Woman stood there in the middle of Eden’s beauty perplexed. She had not even had a day of simplicity in Eden before God told her she would have to be the cause of losing it all. God read her thoughts.
“No, you’re not cursed, Woman. You and I actually have a closer bond than Adam and I do. You’ll feel life growing inside you; Adam never will. You’ll understand what it means to be truly connected to Adam in a way he’ll need to be taught because I’ve spoiled him so much. As a matter of fact, man is going to name you, like he did all my other creations, but he won’t know the real reason behind the name he’ll choose.
“My name isn’t ‘Woman’?”
“Well of course not. How can Adam have a name without you having one? Your name is Eve because Eden Veils Everything, so man needs you to open his eyes to reality. Everything isn’t perfect. I never meant it to be.”
“Because a perfect world doesn’t need a God…”
God smiled. “I think you’re ready.”
Elsewhere in Eden, Adam woke up feeling a little “strange.” He didn’t exactly have a word for this feeling because he only had one emotion – happy – and he didn’t even know that word. God gave him charge over all things, he had a great body, and everything he needed was at his fingertips. Who wouldn’t be “happy”? That day, however, he woke up feeling (what he would later call) aimless, so he called on God.
“Excuse me, God,” he called, “you have a minute?” No answer. “God?” Silence. So he began his daily routine, hoping the new feeling would go away. He admired his body, found a quiet spot to urinate, tended to all the animals, and fed himself once all his work was done. “This is usually enough for me,” he said to himself. And with that, he fell asleep beneath an apple tree.
The next time he woke up, there was woman, walking among the trees in Adam’s favorite orchard. In all her long-legged wonder she strolled from tree to tree, examining the fruit with the expected curiosity of new creature.
“Thank…you…God," was all Adam could muster at the sight of Woman. He thoroughly examined every inch of her. For first time, he didn’t notice God enter the area.
“You’re welcome, Adam.”
“Oh, God! What did I do to deserve this?”
“Nothing. Adam, this is "Woman," your mate. Your equal and opposite in every way. I want you to…”
“What are those?” Adam interrupted.
God laughed. “They’re breasts.”
“What are they for?”
Seeing that the plan was working (not that there was a doubt), God abandoned the formal introduction and said, “You’ll find out in due time…get to know each other. Oh and Adam, remember what I said. Show her the grounds, and teach her the rules.”
“Okay, God,” Adam replied, not taking his eyes off "Woman."
God turned and watched "Woman" until their eyes met and winked at her. She was doing an excellent job functioning as an object – looked at, talked about, but not included in the conversation. That was the first consequence of this mission she was learning to accept. "Woman" took a deep breath and walked toward God and Adam.
“Hey, Adam, why don’t you show me around? What have you named all this?”
“I’ll leave you to it,” were the last words in a kind tone they ever heard from God. Adam, of course, thought that comment was for him; "Woman" knew it was really for her.
“What’s the rush? We’ve got plenty of time for that, “Adam said. “Let’s get to know each other…”
“Sure,” she agreed. “I really want to try one of these…these…these?
“Apples,” Adam offered. “God called these Chinese apples. This whole place is full of apples and other fruits.”
“How do they taste?”
“They’re pretty good. I’ve tasted them all, except for this one tree over in the corner that God told me not to touch,” Adam said, still checking out his mate's frame.
“Really? Show it to me…” she said, innocently. “I really want to make sure I know all God wants us to do here.” And with that, "Woman" went forth on her mission, hoping it would - one day - all be worthwhile.
