Is This A New Mistake or An Old One?

I can't give you all the details, though I wish I could. What I will give you is the crux of the conversation between a great friend and me and a portion of a blog she wrote. I'll let you ponder everything because I will say more in the blogs to follow. (I have corrected capiatlization and punctuation because it drives me crazy not to. Everything in brackets has been altered to protect the selfish and their enablers or clarify a sentence.)       :-)

HER: "He said I was totally right. He said he is aggravated, annoyed, and embarrassed to have asked me. He said he is never asking for anything that isn't an emergency. He admitted [that she] has issues and that it isnt fair for everyone to be rallying what she wants. Hecommented that "some people" don't have the same ideas about how money is handled, and He called her "spend reckless," a term he coined especially for her.

"He commented that she wants to redo her wedding experience. I told him that was impossible, and she need not be trying to erase and re-color in her past with prettier colors. Itold him it's not about keeping a running tally of what your partner owes you. She needs to be able to move forward and build from the experience and focus on new memories and the future and not trying to redo some shi* that cant be re-done. He commented that this renewal of vows thing is "BS" because,"it's not about "us"; she has made it all about her by ignoring his concerns and his offers for compromise. Then she had the nerve to ask him why he wasnt more involved in the planning..."

AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH...my friend continues...

"...but he said he married with the logic that 'together' means you are  [meaning "he is"] responsible for the mistakes and decisions of both parties...I know you don't like that." [The last part of the quotation is addressed to me of course.]

ME: It’s not that I don’t like that…it’s that he is the only one with that logic, therefore she makes the mistakes and decisions and he is responsible. NO BUENO! That “BS” version of “together” further solidifies [the reason] they shouldn’t be “together” because they aren’t…PERIOD. They don’t support the family together, they don’t support the [each other's] dreams together, and they don’t come together on the money. SOUNDS LIKE HE SETTLED AND KEEPS JUSTIFYING IT BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW IT. And now…I really don’t feel sorry for him…because his definition of “together” shows just how much he is falling apart but determined to be the glue that keeps that warped family photo together…as is the custom of the day…

Oh…and by the way…marrying with any kind of “logic” other than that of "I’m in love with this person, and we are on the same wave length, so I believe in our longevity" is nothing more than settling…on a cerebral (versus emotional) level…

...Then...My Good Friend's Blogpost (which I have not edited out of respect...)

"What’s better uncertainty or certain doom? I ask because as people both male and female approach 30, their early thirties and their mid-thirties it seems in some way many of us start to do things so that we will have some certainty about our future. We don’t want it to be “too late” for whatever we think we are running out of time to do. So people tend to lock down mates, careers, homes, exercise routines, nutrition plans and everything at a rapidly increasing rate due to the proverbial pressure. And most times these are well thought out decisions. Then there are the other times.

It made me wonder if some people would just rather be certain than uncertain. Regardless of what or who we signed up for whether it be an expensive gym membership that we won’t really use or spouses and potential kids that we don’t really want. Even if that certainty is that you will probably certainly be displeased. And the joke is that there is no real such thing as certainty..."

Things to Ponder...

• Are people leaning on the addage that there is no such thing as certainty to justify the mistakes that they KNOW they are making? I mean, I have a friend that told me that a voice asked her, "What are you doing?" as she walked down the aisle. Coincidence?
• What happens to people who don't believe that love is selfish and self-serving?

This picture is a new mistake...

• Do you have to be a straight-up bitch to have a husband?
• Men, if you are certain you love her and certain that she will not change, are you certain that you always will love her and that you won't change?