Red

Waves crashing through my body again.

I dream of kitty cats with green eyes, 

black fur and sharp claws.

I run and they catch me...

Red when I wake up.

3 am is the perfect hour

to wash away that original sin.

I stand beneath the shower head

looking up like there's help to be found.

Woman, get your life together,

you should be used to this by now,

Been years of flips

and lost ones.

I lay down dizzy from the racing thoughts,

sad from the memories they carry,

questioning yester years like they matter.

"Ester and Gester" squeezing every ounce of

sentiment from me.

"Are you sorry now?" they ask.

And even though I don't answer,

they know.

I pop the pills and pray

angry prayers,

curl up, contort, and cry

without my consent.

all this...every 26...